All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go......

Yeaaaaaa, not so much. It's 9:33PM as I type this, and I am supposed to be packing to leave for Washington State with MiniZiggy and MiniMachine. So far, just their suitcase is packed. I never procrastinate like this......I need to download more to my MP3 player for the flight. MiniZiggy is all kinds of getting on my nerves, it's going to be a VERY long flight.

I am resolved to lose 20 pounds, and get as close to finishing my degree as I can. I will also write more letters and stories.

I hate flying. I'm not afraid of it, I just hate doing it. But, it's the fastest way to get places, so I do it.

I don't wanna

..........go to work tomorrow. I'm enjoying relaxing.

So this is my last week of work. I'm going to miss it. But on the the next thing, right?

My sister in law got engaged today, I am so thrilled for her.

I got my claddagh ring, and the coat I've been wanting for Christmas. YAY!!!

I leave Monday for Washington, and my Mother-in-law has already planned our first trip to the casino. She's scoped out all the newest penny slots for us to play, and I am so excited!

Blah and all randomness

As I sit here, laptop precariously balanced on my knee and the edge of the couch, I am awash is sadness. Ok, maybe not total sadness. Mostly disappointment. Disappointment with an edge of sadness. I don't recall the last time I felt so disappointed in a friend. my body feels heavy with the weight of the disappointment I feel, and I can't seem to shake the grey fog that surrounds me.

I am to the point that I dread getting messages from that friend, because I feel I have nothing to say. It seems I have lost my voice. Or the ability to voice my observations in a clear manner to others.

The friendship hasn't changed, I don't think. Perhaps I have expected more or too much of that friend. Put on a pedestal, disappointment is inevitable when reality sets in. Hitting in a bit close for me right now.

So next week is Christmas. It hardly seems important, what with school, work, selling the house, and all the normal chaos that happens around here. Taken a bit of a back seat to other things, actually, though we have bought presents and such. My mind still thinks I have time to do things inrelation to Christmas.

New Years Eve I take MiniZiggy and MiniMachine to Washington State by myself. This ought to be interesting. 2 toddlers on a plane ride cross country. What madness have I entered into????

So there are those that believe Ziggy and I have the perfect marriage, and that I have the perfect husband. No marriage is perfect, and neither is any spouse. I am very fortunate in my spouse, however. There are a few women I work with who would love to clone Ziggy for themselves. I am flattered, and have warned them in advance that they would be baseball widows, as Ziggy is such a baseball fan he doesn't notice much else between April and October. They didn't seem bothered a bit by that. I think it's very complimentary to Ziggy that other women wish they had a husband like him. Once they hear him snore, they'll think again, LOL.

Hallelujah!

My first semester at University of Maryland University College is over, thank the gods!!! My government final was pretty good, I thought. World History up to 1500 made ever cell in my body ache with spent knowledge. I couldn't even form totally coherent sentences with Eunuch, just ask him, as he furnished me with dinner on my way home. Mythology made my hand hurt, as it was a written exam, and I did a hell of a lot of writing!

Next semester starts 23 January. So I now have more time to update my blog, play Mah Jong Solitaire, get ready to move.....

I am planning to go to Washington State with the kids after New Years. I am looking forward to the trip, I love hanging out with my inlaws. And Mason says I may stay as long as I like! Except I have to go to England with him.

I stop work 29 December. I will miss the girls I work with, they are a great bunch. It will be nice not to work for a bit, though I will be busy as hell. I am hoping to get a job working for the Air Force over there, so we'll see how long I stay out of employment.

My Jeep sold. Sniff......

The Casa de Seigerman goes on the market this weekend. Mason and I started painting today. My house looks soooo weird!!!

Alright, off to more painting!!

Cause I enjoy being a girl!

I made it for Mason's squadron Christmas party. Such a departure from my usual black. I'm going to wear 4" gold heels with it, too.....

Dump

Work has me busy, when I am supposed to be busy getting rid of crap, painting walls, otherwise preparing to move in 2 months. School has me running like a lunatic as well. I have finals next week, and am looking forward to them like devout Christians look forward to the second coming of Christ. They simply can't get here fast enough. Nor do I have the time to study for them, as I am doing homework that is due right up to the day of the final exam. Can we say cruel and unusual punishment????

I went to the hash last weekend, and had a great time. I plan to go tomorrow, as well. I miss hashing.

Ziggy redid my front flowerbed for me, put down mulch and new boundary, I love it. Too bad I have to sell the house and won't get to benefit from it.

Speaking of selling things, my Jeep is up for sale. I am not thrilled about this, but Ziggy is confident that it needs to go. So I grudgingly let him put it on the For Sale lot at Langley.

The holidays are upon us, and due to the move, all the families want our presences. Yea......not working so well.

I am so looking forward to this move, more so than that to Germany. I can't explain why.

Ok, I think that'll do it for now...

Current goings-on with me......

Things I am surfing Ebay for:

1. Dress shoes for MiniMachine to wear in Christmas family picture.

2. A Littman Stethescope.

3. Diamond jewelry. Hey, a girl can dream!

4. X-box360 games. Hey, I ain't paying full price, if I can help it!

Things I want to recieve as gifts:

1. A gold Claddagh ring, size 5.5, to be worn on my right hand pinky finger. I want this from Ziggy.

2. New jammies.

3. A Littman stethescope. With great acoustics!!!!!

4. A new Vera Bradley handbag, in that new brown pattern.

5. Vera Wang perfume.

6. Makeup from Sephora. Yes, I've gotten girly.

7. Barnes and Noble gift card.

8. a new mp3 player.

THings that are currently aggravating me:

1. Writing papers for school. Yea.....

2. Paperwork that takes too long to get answers from!

3. Folding laundry

4. Going through crap to get rid of before moving.

5. Finding cute stuff for my daughter to wear that she won't pull out of her hair!

6. WInter clothes for the whole family!!!

7. Selling my Jeep.

Things I'd rather be doing:

1. Watching a movie.

2. Sleeping.

3. Shopping, not buying.

The pleasure of the Gods

Today the tile gods from Mah Jong Solitaire smiled upon me......I had my best game EVER, beating my all time high score......139, 697. GO ME!!!!!

Over my head

I think I am in over my head with school. I am trying, but I'm not sure it's working very well. My insurance job is going to have to go by the way side, and soon. This juggling crap is for the birds.

Probably selling my Jeep. Gotta start going through crap and getting rid of stuff and such. Need to start painting the walls in the casa. Ugh. All of this would go on while the holidays are on, right?

Whole, for a bit

I can't explain it, but I was all giggly and giddy last night. Felt good. Haven't felt completely whole in a LONG time. Not since before I had MiniMachine.......

Here we go again!!!!

We are moving. Again. This time, to Jolly Old England, a few hours' drive from London. YEY!!!!!! I can't wait!!!!!! We are supposed to report in February.....

More to follow, of course...

Oh wow!!

I got my grade back for my paper that I wrote for my Government class. I made a 9 out of 11, and my teacher said it was a good first paper!! WHHHHHEEEEEEWWW!!!!! That makes me feel MUCH better!

I wrote a mega-paper for my Mythology class, and it's 300 words shy of the minimum of 1800. Hopefully, that won't bite me too hard in the butt. I feel pretty confident about the Works Cited page, as I looked up all the formats on the internet, and copied the formats. Those are my nemesis, and I feel like I am improving when it comes to writing academic papers.

What a week

And it's only Monday. Got caught up in a couple classes for the week, got ahead in one, and trying to fix technical problems with the rest. It's enough to make me scream. Really loud.

So, off and running to another busy week. No rest for the weary, I swear, and little time for Ziggy. That's not good, as we rarely don't talk. But things have been really hectic, with no sign of slowing down any time soon.

Got some inside info on getting in with the government as far as being medical goes. Will have to look into it and see how it pans out.

Next semester, not taking 5 classes!!!

mmmmmm.............

I wrote my first paper for school. Yikes!! I am terrible at writing academic papers, and am terrified that if I miss something, I'll get in trouble for plagarism somehow. So I documented. Like crazy. EVERYTHING. I think. Crossing my fingers and toes, we'll see how it goes......

mmmmmmmm.........I just love how a glass of wine gives you this warm fuzzy comfortable feeling. Like laying in bed with a cup of cappuchino and a good book, or talking the night away with someone close to you. Mmmmmmmm............

Ok, night guys, I have to work tomorrow!!!

Me and my blog, and things I am saying

I had a coworker tell me that I give too much of myself away. And for whatever reason, that stuck with me. All day I had that kind of churning in the back of my mind. And I started looking at myself, and you know, it's true. I am a pretty giving person. Whether it's the shirt off my back or a piece of my mind, I give pretty freely of both. I know, I know, I gotta watch how much of my mind I give away, or I won't have much left.......anywhooo...

I admit, I have held back when it comes to some people in my life. People who have meant a good bit to me, and for whatever reason, I have reserved things from them. My mother, for example, about religion. I admit, I am chicken-shit when it comes to telling my mom where to get off. This is where Ziggy comes in handy. Ziggy can tell anyone off and not flinch, overthink it, or go from 0 to screaming in under 0.6 seconds. I soooo envy that ability. Like in the movie You've Got Mail, where Tom Hanks is telling Meg Ryan that he wished he could give her all of his zingers and she could be as bad as she wanted. I wish I could borrow that from Ziggy. I would have been at my mother with both barrells blazing yesterday, if I could have had the balls to let rip. Oh, I have more people, believe me.....

My ex-Marine..........yea, if I'd told him what was going on, things would've been very different.

Sadly enough, I put my friend Eunuch into this category. I love Eunuch to death. We have some common interests, and seem a good deal alike, and that may very well be our undoing as friends. Eunuch introduced me to hashing, educated me on beer(though I still am no beer drinker - not Eunuch's fault, either), and otherwise being a good friend with a shoulder to cry on occassionally. I have really enjoyed getting to know Eunuch, but am starting to wonder if the things I hold back from him aren't starting to get in the way a bit. Perhaps I have given too much of myself in a friendship. I have never been in a friendship that was as mutually nutured as my friendship with Eunuch. And yet I feel that perhaps, just maybe, it's just too good to be true that I could have a great friendship with a man without ruining it completely, as I am terribly good at doing. My best friend is not counting in this. I hold back certain parts of myself with Eunuch. I have from the outset. I am a stubborn person, to the core. I tend to not give an inch when it comes to arguments, with the exception of Ziggy. I don't give even a millimeter when it comes to Eunuch. Ziggy has even said he doesn't know if I should. I have always been the one to get walked all over in friendships, and in the last few years I have tried to reverse that trend. I now wonder if I'm not shooting myself in the foot, and should give Eunuch all that he has been asking for from me. It's a quandry, and an impasse as well, it seems.

So without giving details here, I unloaded all that about Eunuch and I. The details don't really matter, I don't think. On the other hand, if I give all that I have held back, thoughts and mmmm, actions, things could change in a way that I'm not willing to deal with.

Rather than end this post on a sad, pensive note, I will throw in some cheer. Speaking of my best friend, Chris Daugherty, I found out tonight that he is ENGAGED!!!!!!!! His girlfriend is great, I met her in April on the big drive from Washington. I think she's a little overwhelmed that I am so stoked for them (I'm a very exuberant person, if you haven't noticed), but hey, if she wasn't good for Chris, he wouldn't be with her. So YAY for Chris and Stephanie!!!!!!!

Well, it's official

We aren't moving to Germany. Since the medical clinic where we were going is closing, the Air Force opted to keep us at home. Atleast until they decide to send us somewhere else. We are back in the bucket of people to be selected to move. This doesn't really bother me, as long as it's not to Georgia or California.

My mother called yesterday, worried about Scout, because 'you hear so much on the news here(Georgia) about Buddhists getting arrested and violence. I know it's not right for him to believe that. I didn't raise you that way.' At which point, I hung up on her. I am beyond tired of hearing the same things over and over again from her. I have long since lost the patience for dealing with it.

School is running me ragged. I took on too much this semester, but I have to handle it now and get through the best that I can.

I took a second job, much steadier pay. I work in a diet clinic, giving shots, drawing blood. It's nice to be back in the field I loved. I am sure that I will be getting a lecture from my insurance manager, but I don't really care. He has nothing but negative to say most of the time as it is.

BTW, Happy Birthday to Eunuch! His 31st birthday is today!

So.....jealousy

As I write this, I fail to understand the circumstances bringing out such jealousy in Ziggy. He is currently having a conniption fit. See, a week or so ago, a friend of ours sent me a pic on my cell phone. It didn't come through on my phone, so I looked it up on the net, like the good little web geek I am. Apparently Ziggy found the pic, and no, it wasn't of this guy's face. I tell the guy not to send me pics like that, he agrees, and I figure the situation is handled. What I don't know at the time, is that Ziggy has found the pic on the PC, and is angry about it. He never mentions anything to me about it, either. Well, here we are, a week or so later, and the guy asks me why Ziggy is threatening him over that pic. From what I understand, Ziggy threatened to tell the guy's wife or something. I try to tell Ziggy that he's overreacting, I had handled it and now he's churning it all up again, and so far, it's not seeming to change anything. So yea, I am lost.......Ziggy has never been like this, and I'm lost as to what to do about it. I did what I thought was best and now Ziggy is going wild over it, without having asked me anything. This dredges up memories I'd rather not remember.....

Developments

Well, well, well.......

We are no closer to knowing if we are going to Germany or not. Still no word. This is crazy, I hate being in limbo.

My manager and I went to a business in Nags Head, NC, and they may actually let us do their benefits. If so, this will be a great money maker for me!!!! Then maybe Ziggy won't be so negative about my job, if I get this.

Also, I am going for a job interview tomorrow. It's a medical job, which may be nice. But I'm not holding my breath. We'll see.

Letting go

I am always the one to let go last. But I am doing it, finally. All contact with you is going away. It kills me to walk away, but you'll be fine, and so will I. I won't forget, and I hope you don't, either.

Taking a break

Not from blogging. But the MySpace crowd. I'm just not as into it as others, and I figure that if folks want to keep up with me, there's email, phone and this blog.

The Lunatic Luau, a 13 band rock concert event, is this coming Saturday, and I am so stoked! Ziggy can't make it, so a friend of ours, Dave(guy I did the Mud Run with) is stepping in to be my 'date'. Hinder, Papa Roach, Operator, Tesla, and a bunch more bands will be there. It's going to be a good time.

I really filled my semester up this go around. But I think I can handle it. I haven't been doing as much business, so my time will be filled with school work, and house work.

We are supposed to hear this week, whether we are definitely going to Germany or not. I just wish they would tell us already, this limbo bit is annoying. More to come, of course.

School is in, and my baby is soooo smart!!!!

Scout comes bouncing in from his first day of middle school, and starts telling me about his day, and about his schedule. I am SOOOO proud of my baby!!!!!! I wish his father could see him!!!!!!! He's in all HONORS classes, and is doing Pre-Algebra in the 6th grade!!!!!!!! My baby is gonna change the world someday!!!!!!!

I started a new college this week. Liking it so far, hating all the administrative crap that goes with it, though.

Well, I am going to make this one rather short.

Vacation and birthday

So today is my 30th birthday. Doesn't feel much different, I suppose. ABout like 19, I guess. That between age, when you aren't a teen really, but you aren't officially in your 20's, either. Such is 29. So I am glad to say that I have passed that ackward age, and am officially 30. I have been looking forward to 30 for so long, that it almost seems like a null issue. Eh, I made it. I am 30.



MiniMachine turned 1 on 27 August. Yikes. A year went by way faster than with MiniZiggy. I've said it before, and I'll say it again........if you ever want to see time fly, have kids.



Vacation. HA! Another non-item. My mother managed to ruin it rather well. And earlier than I had expected. My mother lit into Scout for believing Buddhism rather than Christianity. Oh, the Holy Rolling really got going, let me tell you! She told him that he's going to burn in hell. She threatened to slap him for refusing to tell her that he loves Jesus( ain't Christian love just PEACEFUL and ACCEPTING???). Yea........not the most pleasant of situations. So Ziggy decides to jump in and deflect my mom off Scout, and onto himself. At this point in time, I walked out of the condo. I try to avoid conflict with my mom, which means that I walk on glass a good bit around her. Well, my mother gets her dander up, and when Mama ain't happy, neither is Daddy. Whether or not he knows what's going on. And to make things even more interesting, my dad (bless his heart, the man is 79 years old, folks) is still about 10 minutes behind the trigger when it comes to keeping up with conversations, since he had his stroke. So, in true form, about a half hour after all the dramatics, my dad catches up, and starts throwing his temper around, causing more tension. Which, of course, Daddy doesn't remember because well, Daddy's old and has earned the right to forget most everything. Well, an hour or so goes by, and my mother declares that she and Daddy are leaving by themselves for dinner. She made a point of saying it was without us, since she's so disgusted and disappointed that she's considering going back to Georgia. And with that, they left. Ziggy and I pack up the kids and our stuff(no small feat, travelling with 3 kids requires a good bit of stuff) and leave for Virginia. I call my mom to tell her where the key to the condo was left, and then she starts in on her lecture. I admit it, freely, I wanted to hear nothing she had to say. So I hand the phone to Ziggy, to deal with the situation, and to say to her, everything that I am too chicken to say. Situations like this are exactly why I love Ziggy. He will lay it all out, in the most blunt of terms, shut up his targets protests, and doesn't care if the other person likes him or what he's said. Me? I care too much, so am much weaker at this. Anyways, I digress. Ziggy promptly tells my mother where to get off, and why. Somehow, things get smoothed over, and we go back to the condo to finish the vacation. THat was Tuesday.

Thursday night, Ziggy and I put the kids to bed, and ask my mom if she minds if we go mini-golfing and get out for a while. She says no, she doesn't mind. Let me remind the reader, THE KIDS ARE IN BED, except for Scout, who can handle himself. Ziggy and I go mini-golfing. And I shot a respectable score, never made it to the max amount of strokes for each hole. Go me. ANywhoo............after mini-golfing, Ziggy and I stop at this little Japanese restaurant to eat, cause we are hungry. We get back, roughly 4 hours after we have left. My mother is up waiting for us(did I mention we are both, as of the time, 29 years old???) and then has the balls not to want to let us in the door. Her reasoning? We 'dumped the kids off with her, to take care of, on HER vacation'. I mentioned that MiniZiggy and MiniMachine were asleep before Ziggy and I went out, right? Good, just checking. Yea, so she rants off about having to stay up to wait for us, etc, etc, thus pissing Ziggy off thoroughly.

Bottom line, Ziggy doesn't want to spent any more time with my parents - ever, if it can be helped.

We also went to the Citadel, to see a parade by the Corps of Cadets there, as my nephew is a student there. Was going great until the skies dropped unending rain on it. No more parade. But I got to see my nephew and my brother and sister in law. That wasn't too unpleasant.

So Scout goes to middle school, starting Tuesday. I start a new college Tuesday, and go back to work. Ugh. We'll see how all this fun adds up and what happens.

That's all for now.....I'm going to start updating this more......

I am resolved

I am a damned good correspondent, if I may say so myself. I text message a number of people on a daily basis. I initiate the conversations, nine times out of ten. And quite honestly, I feel as though I am being taken for granted. Like others have no need to effort maintenance of chatter, as I will always take care of that.

Well, it's time for a change. I am tired of being the upholder of the various 'friendships' that I text through on my cell phone. I have grown weary of putting more effort into relationships, than I feel is being put in on the other side.

Aside from my dearly beloved, Ziggy, I'll not be texting anyone for a while. Those who truly value my friendship will contact me themselves, and not wait on my instigation. Time for others to put in some effort, and not me doing all the work. Relationships are work, why should friendships be any different?

That is my resolution.

I am sooo sick

I feel like I was hit by a Mack truck, and them my chest was trampled by elephants. Fabulous, since I am supposed to go on vacation next week.

Still working, though there are days I wonder why.

School starts after Labor day. This ought to be interesting. Hopefully my GI Bill will hurry up.

My birthday is 1 September. I want a party and a massage. Please. I'm going to be 30!!

The power stick brigade

Every morning, I see older(as in older, I mean atleast 55) people power walking through my neighborhood, carrying a stick. Not a stick from the woods, mind you, but something akin to a weighted bar used for exercises. Is this to beat off the crazies? To add resistence to the workout? I have no idea. But I see it, every day, and they seem awfully happy about it....so it must work, whatever it does.

For Eunuch

I don't want this to happen again. I want my friend back.

The sand run

So much for the mud run. More like the sand run. More sand than anything else on that track. I finished a respectable 56 out of 64 in my age group. No pics, though, sorry. Well, maybe, but I don't know when I'll get it.

Gettin' Diiiiirrrtttttttyyyyyy

Oh yea, baby, Scout and I are off to the races tomorrow........as in the ASYMCA Mud Run. We will be muddy and tired.....I'll post pics.

Oh for crying out loud

I am soooo over people having hissy fits over me. You aren't my parent, nor my my spouse, so get out of my business and off my back. Mind your own damned business. If this costs me my friendship with Eunuch, oh well. I am, frankly, very tired of having to cater to others.

Let me edit this by saying this entry was written in blind anger. Eunuch's Lady had an issue over my pic on my myspace page. Eunuch asked me to take it down. This whole fiasco deeply angered me. And so I wrote the above entry.

Literotica.com

I started writing erotica. I write on Literotica.com. My name, as an author, is Titiana Peaks.


Here lately I find myself restless. Bored with life and love. I can't explain why, nor how. Just bored.

I feel so sick

Other, my soulmate, just told me that because I have 3 kids, I can't ever be with him. This being my soulmate, this hurts. Deeply.

Congratulations Eunuch!

Eunuch got engaged last night!!! Wedding bells will be ringing for he and his lady fair in the next several months!!!!


Passport papers are handled, just have to get pictures made and the paperwork can be turned in. The paperwork regarding Scout and his hemophilia goes in this week, as well, and hopefully that will be decided soon enough.

I am running in the Armed Services YMCA Mud Run 11 August, wish me luck! 5 miles is going to be havoc on me!!!!

Other is doing well, for the most part. He's having his hert montiored, so hopefully they will get to the bottom of what's going on with him.

Why I went Gothic

I get asked that question alot, here of late. Why's my hair two different colors, and why do I wear gothic eyeliner? Well kids, gather 'round and get comfy, and I shall explain.......

The answer to the first question is relatively easy. I was in the military for 6 years, and had to follow regulation(with loopholes big enough to drive semi's through, for some people) with regard to hair, makeup, etc. Well, I conformed for 6 years. Time to do what I want with my hair. I've always liked the Rogue look, from XMen, so I decided to wear mine like that as well. On the other hand, if you want a more 'personal' answer, I have only just gotten the confidence to wear my personality on the outside, rather than hide it.

The eyeliner. Gothic, by many standards, de rigeur for the women in my biological family. But for me, it's more of my personality creeping out. For a long time I have always felt the need to compartmentalize my personality, my tastes, etc. Once I got out of the military, and had to define myself all over again, as the military no longer had the control over that, I have been letting myself free. Why Gothic? Because it's what I relate to. I have a deep dark side. I have a wild streak. And they both show in my hair. I guess I just changed my sppearance to look like what's inside....

What I do not to get paid

Every week, I get this speech from both of my managers, of how I need to be making contacts(either in oerson on over the phone), setting appointments, and writing insurance. Yea........

Well, come to find out, out of 4 agents, only 1 is making any money. The idea that it's not just me, should be a comfort. But isn't, oddly enough. Ziggy is getting more upset by the day with this job. And nothing part time is panning out yet.

So the frustration mounts. Trying to decide if I should just quit working altogether and stay home and get ready to move to Germany.

Other

Ok, I admit.......I keep up with him in my own non-interfereing way. As in I read his blog on MySpace. He's been having problems sleeping. As in he doesn't sleep. He's been prescribed meds to help him sleep, to no avail. He's been prescribed anti-depressants (God knows why), and no help.

Now they want to send him to a heart doctor. This tells me 2 things. One, that the doc has no clue what to do with him, and keeps pawning him off on others. And two, the caffeine that he seriously cut back on a few years ago, WASN'T the reason he was so wired for sound all the time.

I'm worried now. Not freaky-Oh-My-God-What's-Wrong kind of worried, but the you're-perfectly-healthy-so-why-would-this-be-happening type of worried. Not freaking out. Yet.

I worry about him. I care, therefore I worry. I wanna write him, and I can't. Well, I can, but he won't answer. Or acknowledge the message. Yea. I'm not all about that. So I'll worry in silence....except for the blog.

Progress

So the realtor was here to talk about selling Casa de Seigerman. THinking of selling it for 220K. We have to paint walls and do a few things here and there, and it may go on the market at the end of July/early August. I don't mind telling you guys that this terrifies me. I love my house. It's home.....or has been for the past 3 years. MiniMachine was brought home to this house. MiniZiggy learned all his firsts in this house. This is where I start having problems dealing with change. I start digging my heels in and resisting everything going on related to a move. Ugh.

MiniMachine(Riley) is trying to pull herself up to a stand now. Totally skipping crawling. Which is fine. She's so pretty, too.........

Ugh. I have so much I need to do.

One more

I want one more child. This kills what Ziggy's plans are. But I want one more.

Yuck, work

I put a good bit of effort into my job, and very little pay in return. This is very frustrating, to say the least.

Would you believe that Ziggy brought up the idea of me going back into the military? I was a bit floored at that one. So yea, back on the job hunt, if only to collect unemployment bennies. Something's got to give.

We can only take 2 critters to Germany with us. So Charlie is definitely going, and I am thinking that Bandit may the other one.

I am going to look into property management this week, and see what goes into it, so that maybe just maybe, we won't have to sell our house. Ziggy is looking at it from the opposite direction, and seeing dollar signs from the sale of our home. IF it sells at all. The house a couple doors down took a while to sell. And I dread that happening to us. I am of 2 minds about selling the house, and Ziggy knows it.

MiniMachine was sitting up in her crib this morning when Ziggy went in to wake her. We don't know how long it took her to get that way, but there she was!!! She's getting so big!!

Alright, I am off to get things done today!

Visiting parents

Yea.........

My parents were in town for Scout's graduation. For once I didn't get lectured on church. That was rather refreshing. But every other hour, it seemed, I got the drill of 'Why doesn't he want to come see me in Georgia?' from my mother. Yea.........grating on the nerves, to say the least.

The visit wasn't too long, we will see them again in August.

Drove through South Carolina and stopped to see my aunt, who's in the hospital in Colombia. Despite a massive stroke, she was talking like her normal self. She may get to go back to her hometown on Friday.

Have to write something about work, and about Eunuch, since it's been rattling around in my head.....

All for now.....

Employment

This insurance gig sure isn't what it's cracked up to be. I made 73 phone calls today, and made 2 appointments. Yea......those aren't good numbers. I'm going back to the job search.

Don't be fair-weather friends with people, you may need them later.

New job

So I have my new, nonmilitary job. And my managers have to go with me on appointments, as I am so new I squeak. But they insist on being late. To almost every damned appointment. Where I come from, that's bad business, especially when folks have taken the time to say that they'll see you. Yea........we're going to have issues with that, I can see it already.

And yes, I've voiced that concern/complaint, and was blown off, for the most part.

Ugh.

Uproot and go

We are moving to Spangdahlem Germany in January.

I started my new job this week, and it's not too bad. I'm getting myself settled, and will be off and running next week. Fun fun fun.

I am going to Georgia next weekend to bring my folks back for Scout's 5th grade graduation. That ought to be fun. Ok, I mean that sooooo sarcastically.

New developments

Got a job, I start Wednesday. Now I just have to get used to going to the office twice a week. Darn, hard times there. Ziggy is soooo jealous.....

I went and tried on clothes today. Big mistake. Made me feel extremely fat. Gotta do something about that...........

I'm a bit down today......

Yea. And when I get dow, I miss people. I miss Eunuch, who's in Chicago. I miss Other who's in Kentucky and not speaking so much to me. Brandie is busy. So I am a little bummed. My people are scattered and I'm used to that. But when they don't talk to me, I get all weirded out.

I look pregnant

I am out at a social funstion for military spouses last night, when a former co-worker of mine walks up to me, rubs my tummy, and asks me if I'm done yet. I ask her what she's talking about. She says she KNOWS I'm pregnant again. I said no, and then sais Fuck You and walked away.

Confirmed by a friend of mine, I look pregnant, despite working out. Fucking peachy

Here Without You and the story behind it

Here Without You
(Music by Arnold, Roberts & Harrell)

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
All the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, there's only you and me.
The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me.
Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done.
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me

That song is from the band 3 Doors Down. I love it, it's probably one of my all-time favorite songs. I've stopped crying everytime I hear it, but the warm memories that go with it are still there. WHy does this song affect me so much? Now there's a story.....

Way back in the day, that song came out when I was sort of seeing Other. And it fit what was going on rather well. And then I moved to Virginia. More of the same. But my fondest memories of this song have to do with my time in Iraq with Other. Just warm fuzzy feelings.......

Going in circles

I have pet peeves just like the next person. One of them is when my husband comes home and tries to tell me how to conduct my day. I set my days up to where I know I am getting things handled. I pace myself as much as I can. I can do very well without being told how to do things.

Another of my peeves is being talked to as though I do nothing all day, so therefore I have to be given things to do. Yea. How do you think he has clean clothes to wear everyday, clean dishes to eat off of, etc? Well it's sure as hell NOT the merry maids coming in and doing things. I understand that money is tight. I totally get that. But when I go do things that are FREE, don't bitch at me over it. I am not a homebody. Get used to it. You've known this for 4 and a half years. Oh, and when I apply for work, don't bitch that it's not full time, anything is better than nothing. I am trying. So sit down and shut up.

I got to ride a Harly for the first time this past weekend. My uncle rode up for the weekend, and I got to ride on the back as we went out and did some things with the family. Good times.

School this semester? Well, I may as well have taken classes in person, al lthe time I will be spending at the campus taking tests. This isn't one of my favorite professors, either. Matter of fact, I basically loathe this one, as she talks down to all the students.

Still trying to get GI Bill crap finished, and the whole process would go much better if I wasn't getting pressure from home to hurry up and get money yesterday. Yea.......

Get over it

I am working on it. Losing Other for a couple months got me over the whole romatically- inclined- towards- him thing. So he tells me he's gotten back together with his ex, and that we are just friends. Like I didn't know that, but ok. So I lay out the ground rules, ala Other himself. No making me talk to the girlfriend. 2 way communication is required. No jerking me around. And as long as he respects my wishes, I will respect his.

But I got over him in the romantic sense. Feels rather liberating....

Mmmmmmmmmmmm

Yea........warm fuzzy feelings go with that title. Love ya Eunuch.......

So I got my hash name. Pimp My Twat. Thanks to what job I did in Iraq, and my job in the Air Force. Eunuch helped name me, it was a riot........

Just when you think you have a grip

Things go down the drain quick.

I'm laying in bed this morning, and Ziggy gets up for his shower, comes back to bed after it, and informs me that I need to get a job yesterday because he's scared. Then he starts asking me all these questions as to where all I am going to try to get a job at. No pressure, huh? Like I don't know we have bills to pay?

a little blue

feeling a bit left behind, pushed out of the way. I'll get used to it, I suppose.

Next week

Yea, so if I get my license for selling insurance next week, I MIGHT get laid. That's why I haven't, apparently. Because of me not working, Ziggy is stressed and can't have sex.

Frustration

You know how you get mildly dizzy when drunk and/or hung over? Take out the headache, and that's been me for a week. Yea, yea I'll go the doc next week.

You know, I am a damn good lay. I may not be model perfect, I do have tattoos, stretch marks and C-section scars, but dammit I am real. And I like sex. No, I LOVE sex. Save the romantic crap for the virgins, I want it hard, fast, rough, all that. I love oral sex with a passion. And from what I hear, I'm damn good at it. So why is it I can't seem to get laid by the man I want? Yea, for the clueless, that's Ziggy, my husband. I could be getting laid by anyone I pick at this point, and yet, I can't get laid by my husband to save my life. And heaven forbid I maturbate.

Yes, I am sexually frustrated.

The way people look at you

Yea.....I got out of the Air Force, and almost immediately changed my hair color. I now look remotely like Rogue from the X-Men. .....you'd think I was the latest thing out of freak show central, the way people look at me now.

I don't dress gothic or punk or anything, but I have the hair, and I wear the black eyeliner, ala Bridget Bardot in the 50's/60's. And I get looks like I'm from another planet when I am out in public. How judgemental, huh?

Ok, just had to throw that out there......

I'm finally going to make Mother's Day cards..........

Work frustration

So I'm studying for my license in life and health insurance. And I'm telling my boss this week, either I take the real test and pass, or I fail and go to work somewhere else. All this 'wait.....wait......next week' bullshit is grating my nerves, and baby, love doesn't pay the mortgage.

We'll see what happens......


By the way,


Today was great.....

I'm back

Alright, since I am OFFICIALLY out of the US Air Force, I made the command decision that my blog is back public. So, like my profile says.....if you don't like what I write, DON'T READ.

Muah to my loyal readers..........

How much do I read?

Directions: Place in bold type the books you've read from this list of 100. If there are other books you've read by the same author, include those under the original, without the author's name in parentheses....or not. I'm too lazy to do that part. But you can if you'd like.
1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown) Deception Point, Digital Fortress
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen) Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park, Persuasion
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon) ,Dragonfly In Amber, Voyager, Lord John Grey and the Private Matter, Drums of Autumn, A Breath of Snow and Ashes
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King) , $ Minutes til Midnight
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25 . Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks) Message in a Bottle, A Walk to Remember, Nights in Rodanthe, The Wedding,
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela's Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She's Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender's Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller's Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice) The Vampire Armand,
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones' Diary (Fielding) Edge of Reason
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte's Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard's First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

I'm here, I swear............

Been extra busy. School sucks. I have blown off so much school in favor of studying for my licensing exam........

Tuesday is officially my last day in the military, and after that, my blog may go back public. I am seriously considering it.

yea......

Lovin' Seattle

Eunuch and I hared the 1869 for the Hash. It was a great time and I still have the bruises!!!!

Ziggy and I are in Seattle, sans kids, and are having a great time. We are staying at the FABULOUS Edgewater Inn.........look it up, this place is awesome!!!!

We had dinner at Ruth's Chris(the food was better at the one in VA Beach), and then went to the Space Needle. We are having a great time!!! We took the Underground tour of Seattle, I had no clue any of that even existed! Mega cool tour.

So, Ziggy and I are heading back to Spokane tomorrow evening, and my mother inlaw and I will hit the casino.......

Later, guys!!!

Howdy

Well, I am currently working on obtaining my license to sell insurance for Liberty National Insurance.

I am still in school, and drag my feet to complete Pysch homework. I hate psych class. With a serious passion.

I am haring(laying trail) my first hash run this weekend, with Eunuch. This ought to be fun. Sooner or later I will get my official hash name.

Riley is sick, so she's home with me.

My sleep schedule has been all kinds of goofed up. I sleep during the day and stay up til all hours of the night.

We are all flying out to Washington next week. I am soooo looking forward to the trip! I will have my laptop, so I will update, of course......

That's about it for now....

Progress

Well, it seems that I have a fabulous job offer coming to me from Liberty National Insurance. They want me as an agent, and to train as a manager. I can handle that. The money is nothing to complain about, either....let's hope it works out.

We are flying, rather than driving, to Washington State. I finally got Mason to relent and let us fly. And I got some killer airfares, to boot.

So things are currently looking pretty good. School is going well, too. No complaints!!

About Time!!

As I've mentioned on my myspace, my brother in law got engaged.......and Mason and I are going to be witnesses to the wedding, when we go out to Washington in a couple weeks! Awwww.......

First complete week off

Ok, it's only Monday, what can I say? I've been rather productive, for someone who got up at 9:30 this morning. Laundry put away, vacuuming done, dishes put away....go me. Very productive. I even went over to my college and got my parking permit and books for the last two classes I am taking this semester. Just 8 weeks, so it shouldn't be overly stressful.

Speaking of school, I am having to pull people's teeth to find out about my GI Bill, and when I can expect it to be paid. That's going to give me more gray hair than I care to deal with. So getting that handled seems to be a lesson in bugging people.

I need to get a job, and am currently becoming a bit disheartened and discouraged that nothing has been fruitful as yet. I am trying not to let it get me too down. I have applied to a number of places, and am kind of surprised that I haven't heard anything back from any of them. I am probably going to re-do my resume in the hopes that it increases my options.

What I'm taking, what I'll leave behind.......

When I was a senior in high school, we all filled out a 'last will and testament'. When I got divorced, I had two stacks of things; what I was keeping, and what I was getting rid of. Now that I am at the end of my time in the Air Force, I will let my readers in on what I'm taking with me, and whatI'm leaving behind from 6 years in the Air Force, in no particular order....

The knowledge that no matter how hard I work......there will be time to work on it tomorrow. I will always think of my TI, TSgt King, when I walk across a crosswalk. Always be flexible. Things will get done, regardless of deadlines. Don't think of things in terms of problems, rather as solutions. Problems are easily known, solutions require thought. I take with me the work ethic I learned at the knee of MSgt Kip Phillippe, 'Work til we're done, then we can drink beer!' How to pack for airports. The ability to sleep pretty much anywhere, in any surroundings. Memories of riding four-wheelers and camping in Alaska. My best friend, Chris. My marriage to Mason, and our children. From Mr. Johnson, the confidence to take on anyone, regardless of rank, age or position. The memories of my soulmate, Stephen.

I leave behind.....all of those who said I'd never make it through my enlistment. Everyone who said I'd never make it outside of Georgia. And those who said Mason and I would never make it.

THere are few people I will miss, but I am glad to be leaving alot of folks behind. I learned alot, learned a bit about myself and the world. Time to move on....

TIME SERVED!!!!

Last full week

This is the last full week of duty for me in the Active Duty Air Force. It's kinda freaky. Snuck up on me sooner than I had anticipated.

I am trying not to get discouraged that I'm not having much success with my job hunt. It is early yet, and that thought is keeping me from going totally insane. I am thinking of finding a night stock job, and going to school full time during the day.......still have some thing sI am looking into though...

I went to the Quilt Show in Hampton this weekend, and it made me itch to get back into quilting and sewing. Terminal leave will help with that, I am sure. Since I got my sewing machine fixed, I will be able to dive headlong into getting Ziggy's quilt done. After that, I am determined to do something productive knitting-wise. Learn how to do socks or hats or something.......

11 days until I start my terminal leave. I can hardly wait!!!!! I am also getting antsy to be done with school. I've been going for so long, and I have nothing to show for it. I need a degree. Soon, too, cause I am over being in college.

I got my tattoo for MiniMachine. It's beauiful. I will have to get Ziggy to take a picture of it so I can post it on here........

Ok, that's about all I have today...

Tire Fuck

LOL.........there's a bit of a tale behind the title.......Mason and I are driving home from my sister's house, and we pass a fire station. Matthew, cutie that he is, alerts Mama and Daddy of the finding of the fire truck. Well, it came out of his mouth as Tire Fuck......Mason and I got to giggling......and he kept saying it....over and over, Mason even snorted!!!! It was hilarious!

BTW, I got my Riley tattoo.........it's huge and it's gorgeous!!!!

Alright!!!!!

So I've been taking the opportunity to job search while I sit at my desk at work with little to nothing to do.......and I've applied to more jobs than I care to count. I think it's over 20 now. But, anyways, I applied to GEICO insurance, sinc eI have experience working in that industry, though it was health insurance, not car. Anywho, 2 hours after I apply online, I get a phone call requesting a elephone interview on Monday. Yiiippppppeeeee!!!!!!!

I could choke

the laughter is killing me.........I can't help it.....I was mean today. A couple times. Did I care? Nope, not really......my alter-ego on myspace? Did what it was set up to do.......LOL......oh that was too funny......

Shortitis

I have Shortitis. Meaning I am short on time left in the Air Force. Oh yea.......not that my job is overly busy all the time, but here lately I have been doing a whole lot of nothing to do with my job. I've surfed the web for jobs. I've shopped Ebay until even I got bored with it( and that's a LOT, considering how much I love EBay).

I really should get my butt in gear and start planning my party. I want one of those fabulous cakes from Charm City Cakes in Baltimore, but they are hella expensive. Maybe for my birthday. I'm inviting a bunch of folks for my party. I ought to put together my guest list this week.

SO I am going to a bridal shower for Kat next weekend. Ziggy is making me go because I am in the wedding. I kid you not, the invitation to the shower states that the couple isn't registered anywhere, but cash and gift cards are appreciated. OMG, how rude! I mean damn.....this is the THIRD time Kat's been married, good grief! Why the hell have a shower anyways? She lives with the man as it is. Not like they haven't got the house fitted out already.

So I go to lunch Friday with my friend Graf. Graf has beaten cancer, and we were celebrating. So I'm chatting Graf up about Other and his dramatics.......come to find out, Graf knows Other's woman. And had absolutely nothing good to say about her. This is becoming a pattern with the folks I have met that know her.

Soo, 77 days until I am out. Less than 30 until I go on terminal leave. That starts 9 March.

My father-in-law will be here in 2 weeks. Lord help me, the kids are going to be spoiled beyond help. But my house will be clean. My father-in-law is a SERIOUS neatnick............

Snow

Yea, we were supposed to get a couple inches last night. Anything on the ground? Nada. Zip. Zilch and Zero. It's kind of amusing to watch these people freak out over an inch of snow. You would have thought there was a blizzard coming at the rate they were going on about it.

The latest count is 81 days left. 30 until I start terminal leave. I can hardly wait. I am more ready to be done than I thought I would be. THis is a good thing. I have been applying to every job I can find. Hopefully something will turn up.

Bummer

So I'm chatting up CrazyGirl today while at work, and she imparts to me the fact that she's being medically booted out of the Air Force Reserves, due to some medication that she takes. As it happens, I take the same meds. Sooo.....to make a semi-long story short, I may not get to go into EITHER the reserves or the Guard, due to the meds I take. Peachy. Ok, not really.

I put in for my terminal leave today. 31 days left til it starts, 10 March. 86 til I am out.

Hell yes for heat!!!

Sears is coming tomorrow to put in our shiny new heater!!!!!! Yiiipppppeeee!!!!

Shortitis has officially kicked in. I have such a hard time doing my job now. Especially since I looked at the calendar today, and realized that I will be out of the Air Force in 3 months. So I have been surfing jobs......and reading up on the news.........and doing as little work as humanly possible.

I am going to the gym more often now, though. Trying to lose some weight and tone myself.......

Monday twice

Other has always had strict standards with which to conduct himself by in regards to mixing personal life with work( don't get me started on the irony of that statement), and he's pretty anal retentive about that. So when I get this frantic, almost tearful call on my cell yesterday, and it's not even 8:30 AM yet, I'm thinking something must be SERIOUSLY wrong for him to break his own rule of not making personal calls at work. I couldn't have been more wrong.

Here's the basics.......his girlfriend was snooping on his computer, found some passwords and found his emails to me. She goes hysterical. She's rather immature and doesn't trust him. Anywho, the jist of the call, is him trying to placate her, and telling me he can't talk to me anymore. Ok, I'm insulted by this point, as I can hear her in the background, prompting him with what to say. That irritates me. Then he puts her on the phone. Totally uncalled for, and certainly unwelcome. Why? Cause it makes it look even more so that she has him by the short and curlys, and hasn't got the balls to talk to me himself. This angers me. Then she starts on this while schpeel of how she's just found someone to be with(guess her husband didn't count), and that if I want to stay married to Ziggy---at this point in the conversation, her talking was done. More or less, in the nicest manner I could muster at that time, I told her that if she cares that much about Other, she needs to shit or get off the pot and get the damned divorce. And then I hung up on her ass. I am beyond reasonably pissed off when I hang up on people. Oh, and just for the whole fun factor, Ziggy was sitting there listening to every word. Of course, I have the luxury of a very stable marriage, in which there is trust on both sides, and Ziggy knows I'm just friends with Other.

At this point, I went off on Other for the whole deal. Irate is a good word. Come to find out, he's been lying to me, as well as the rest of his friends. Yea, I was ready to blow my temper when I learned that. So I bitch him out. I feel betrayed and deeply hurt. He knows this. And if, for some odd reason, he should happen to read this - I am standing by you, against the advice of a couple of friends OF YOURS.......DO NOT LET ME DOWN.

Today, the pain really hit me hard, despite my happy meds.

90 days left. The good news, I have applied for 3 jobs. I am still looking around for others. I am more than likely going in the Reserves. I should find out this week what job I'll have.

OMG.....it's been a while!!!!

I have to apologize for the serious lack of posting...........

It's been so hectic lately, it's not even funny. I was talking to Eunuch yesterday, while hashing(I'll tell that story in a bit), and I was telling him that despite all my best preparations for my transition back to civilian life( the count is now 99 days, so I've dipped into the double digits now), I am still terrified silly to get out of the military. And, thankfully, Eunuch said that he totally saw my reasons for why............yea, so I'm still terrified.

For those who didn't know, I was rather ill for a while there. As in praying for death as long as the pain would stop. What I htought was a simple UTI, turned out to be a terrible kidney infection. Pain beyond that of labor, fevers like crazy, racing heart rate, all the stuff of scaring my primary care doctor into sending me to the Naval hospital to be treated. I was hating the fact I was still alive..I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, was barely conscious............Ziggy was terrified.....

I went back to work, only to find myself seriously trying to catch up to myself. I am about a month behind, mentally, so I'm still trying to get back on track at work. What really freaked me out, was looking at my outprocessing checklist and at my desk calendar, and it hitting me square between the eyes that I have a little over 3 months left in the military. AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yea, more screaming to come on that count.

Alright, the hashing story. After reading Eunuch's stories of various hashes and such, I let curiosity get the best of me, and taggled along with Eunuch to a hash with the Fort Eustis Hash House Harriers, the longest continuous hash in the country. SO I went. As a virgin. I got muddy. I got wet. I had a massive headache, but had a blast nonetheless. Eunuch and I spent most of the time deep in conversation about various topics, which is nothing new for he and I. Eunuch is one of those folks that I can sit and chat with and hours are lost seemingly immediately. Good stuff. So we chatted, we hashed and a great time was had.........and then he tried to roast me out of the car....LOL......I will have to do that again, that was a good time.......

So my 3rd wedding anniversary has passed, and I am not waiting for a divorce to come final. This is nice.

This week has Scout turning 11 on Wednesday. Also, more outprocessing to be done, as my orders are supposed to be ready this week. Yea.......

I'll try not to wait so long between posts from now on....

My anniversary

Hey, I just noticed something.............I've had this blog for 2 years now.......wow.

No rest for the weary..

I can't sleep. My mind is still running a few million miles a minute.......and I don't have a good reason for why.......

There is an old friend of mine that is trying to get back into my good graces. He and I had a serious falling out over a minor thing called he lied to me repeatedly for years......I'm not ready to forgive this guy, I don't care what his wife wants me to do or believe....

We bought a new PC, I don't know if I mentioned that. So begins the arduous task of transferring things to it from the old one. Fun fun fun. Ok, not really, but's it's nice to have an up-to-date machine finally.

Well, I'm going to go for now......I'll update some more this week, of course.

Updates

Well, I took my Tuition Assistance in to the college, and they put it in the computer, so why does it show up that I haven't paid my tuition??? I'll have to call the school Monday.

MiniZiggy was sick for a couple days, but is doing much better now. Maybe he will learn not to eat crayons......

I have 114 days left in the military. It's feeling really freaky.......

That's about all I have for right now.....