Random thoughts

Yea, I went back to the black. I like black, I have always felt comfortable with it. Very reliable. As for the Latin bit in the title, it was something that I had taken a liking to, and decided to put it on the 'ol blog. What's it mean? Enter ye who seek knowledge.......

So why do people read my blog? There's a question. I wonder about that myself. I know that there are a few who read it just to see what's going on with me. Now, there's atleast 2-4 people that work in my place of employment that read it, and I wonder why. Ulterior motive? To use this against me? Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me. Which, that being said, tends to make me want to censor what I write. Ziggy and I were talking about that last night, and he was asking whether or not the whole 'journal' aspect of it had lost it's draw, now that there's a few people at work(who've been blogged about) who read it. Folks, let me tell you this, the first person who had remotely made me think of censoring my blog was Ziggy. Long ago Ziggy told me that he didn't like some of the things I write on my blog. That was the first point of censorship. My learning that one of my supervisors reads it(not from Iraq) gives me pause for censorship. How do I know that this won't be taken to my top bosses and used against me? Well, I guess those folks that read it will have to be the ones to answer that....

New character on the blog, guys.....ThePol. One of the guys I work with. Working for him this week has been an absolute pleasure. Without Der Fuhrer and Kermit around, Auschwitz has been pretty NORMAL, dare I say that? Not nearly the stress level usually associated with Auschwitz. Due, a good bit, to ThePol. I have no problem working for this person. He treats others as humans and not dirt under his feet, and lets his subordinates actually function in their positions, rather than demanding micro-knowledge of every thing going on in the shop. Working for him, in that environment has brought about a desire in me - NOT THAT KIND, silly readers....For the first time since I put on the stripes that I have, I have the desire to make my next pay grade. The reality though, is that it will more than likely not happen.

Scout will be 10 next month, and I am planning his birthday party. Oh, let me tell you guys what he asked me the other day. Are you ready for this???? He wanted to know who Jenna Jameson was. I was floored.......

I feel like a fool

I am one of those people who just never learns, apparently. You know that scene in the movie Mr. & Mrs. Smith where Angelina Jolie is driving her car, and she's saying to herself, 'How could I be so stupid?" That's me today, with not as good hair, and not as expensive a car. My day went to hell in a handbag this morning, and by complete fault of my own. I'm a big girl, and can admit that this was TOTALLY my fault. I got caught off guard, a bit blind-sided. Information came my way that I reacted to in the incorrect manner for my position. I didn't take it well, and it should have rolled off my back like water off a duck. I have determined that I must be a very selfish and narrow-minded person for something like that to affect me the way it did. I mean my stomach was actually twisted up and I felt sick. Yes, not a good day for me. And it hit me immediately afterwards that I had been such a fool to have believed the way I did before I learned this information. I'm not going into detail, of course, but bottom line is that I took some things for granted, and when I learned the reality, I reacted poorly. To the point I had a cigarette and took a cop car for a nice fast(90 mph) test drive, and then I only felt a smidgen better.

I knew I should have stayed in bed, my sixth sense was pinging like crazy. I really should listen to that more often, huh? My New Year's resolutions may well include to work on that narrow-mindedness that I find myself heavy on. I may avoid future stomach aches and distress.

My little disclaimer to this is that I have boiled down, as much as possible, the events that started the downhill spiral of my day, to the basics, the heart of all of it, and in searching myself, the above written paragraphs are my own insight into it all. I'm a fool.....

Freak in Bed test.........I got a 64

I got this in my email from a former roommate in Iraq.....thought I'd share for laughs

GET A PIECE OF PAPER AND NUMBER IF FROM (1-13)AND NO CHEATING!
SEE THE RESULTS AT THE END OF THE TEST!WHEN YOU SEND IT ON PUT YOUR SCORE IN THE SUBJECT BAR.....

1.WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?(A)A LIGHT COLOR(B)THEY CHANGE COLORS(C)A DARK COLOR

2.IF YOU WERE TO MEET UP WITH THE CRUSH OF YOUR LIFE YOU WOULD... (A)SEDUCE THEM (B)JUST CHILL (C)CHILL AND THEN SEDUCE THEM

3.WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF WEATHER?(A)RAINY(B)THUNDERSTORM(C)SUNNY(D)CLOUDY

4.WHATS THE BEST TYPE OF FRUIT?(A)STRAWBERRYS(B)CHERRYS(C)GRAPES(D)PEACHES(E)KIWI!

5.THE BEST PART OF THE 24 HOURS IS....(A)NIGHT(B)DAY

6.WHATS THE BEST SEASON OF THE YEAR?(A)FALL(B)SUMMER(C)SPRING(D)WINTER

7.HEADBOARD OR NO HEADBOARD?

8.WHATS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?

9.PICK A PLACE YOU WOULD HAVE SEX AT OUT OF THESE...(A)ASTRO VAN(B)ON THE ROOF OF A BUILDING(C)PARK(D)ON A AIR PLANE(E)PARENTS ROOM(F)ALL OF THE ABOVE

10.YOUR PHONE SERVICE?(A)SPRINT/NEXTEL(C)VERIZON(D)T-MOBILE/CINGULAR(E)PAY PHONE(F)CRICKET(G)SUNCOM(H)BOOST11.PICK A ANIMAL(A)LION(B)LIZARD(C)SNAKE(D)MONKEY

12.PICK A TOPPING(A)CHOCLATE SYRUP(B)HONEY(C)WHIP CREAM(D)NUTS

13.WHICH WAY?1. UP2.DOWN3.SIDEWAYS

NOW THINK OF THE PERSON YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON OR A PERSON WHOSE ASS YOU JUSTWANNA SMACK=========

***ANSWERS****
1.A.LIGHT COLOR (4)POINTSB.CHANGE COLORS (5)POINTSC.DARK (4)POINTS

2.A.SEDUCE THEM (5) POINTSB.JUST CHILL (2)POINTSC.SEDUCE THEN CHILL (4) POINTS

3.A.RAIN (3) POINTSB.THUNDERSTORM (5) POINTSC.SUNNY (3) POINTSD.CLOUDY (2) POINTS

4.A.STRAWBERRYS (5) POINTSB.CHERRYS(4) POINTSC.GRAPES (3) POINTSD.PEACHES (4) POINTSE.KIWI (5) POINTS

5.NIGHT OR DAY?DAY (3)POINTSNIGHT (5) POINTS

6.A.FALL (3) POINTSB.SUMMMER (4) POINTSC.SPRING (2) POINTSD.WINTER (5)POINTS

7.HEADBOARD OR NO HEADBORED?HEADBORD (5)NO HEADBORED (2)

8.WHATS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?LEO-5VIRGO-5SCORPIO-5LIBRA-3GEMINI-4ARIES-3CAPRICORN-3CANCER-4PISCES-5AQUARIUS-4TAURUS-5SAGITARIUS-4

9.A.ASRTO VAN (3) POINTSB.ON THE ROOF TOP OF A BUILDING (4) POINTSC.PARK (2) POINTSD.AIR PLANE (5 POINTS)E.PARENTS ROOM (5 POINTS)F.ALL OF THE ABOVE (10 POINTS)

10.A.SPRINT/CINGULAR (5)B.VERIZON (4)C.T-MOB./NEXTEL (3)D.PAYPHONE(1 LMAO!)C.CRICKET (2)E.SUNCOM(3)F.BOOT MOB. (4)

11.A.LION (5)B.LIZARD (3)C.SNAKE (4)D.MONKEY (3)12.A. CHOCLATE SYRUP(3)B. HONEY (2)C. WHIP CREAM (5)D. NUTS (3)

13.1.UP(2)2.DOWN(3)3.SIDEWAYS(5)NOW ADD THE POINTS UP (FOR THE SLOW ONES)

SCORES!!!!!
25-34= PRIESTS DAUGHTER. MIGHT AS WELL SAVE IT TILL MARRIAGE.
35-49= PRETTY FREAKY BUT THERES STILL A COUPLE OF TRICKS U CAN LEARN... FROM ME.
50-70=TOTAL OUTRAGEOUS FREAK! OMG! CALLME!!!! NO ! SERIOUSLY STARTDIALING!

REPOST AS: FrEAK in BED TEST, I GOT (YOUR SCORE)

Who's training who?

This story was so funny, I had to share......

Ziggy and MiniZiggy are in the kitchen last night, and MiniZiggy(being the daredevil he is) is climbing on a step stool I have(cause I'm short and can't reach all the cabinets). He falls, and hits his head, and starts screaming like he's dying. Ziggy picks him up and rubs his back, comforting the poor little guy. MiniZiggy crys,"WaHHHH, WAHHHHHH - AHHHHHHH", and then pats his daddy on the head, smiles and wiggles to get down, and runs away laughing........

SO who's training who?? I thought it was hilarious......

Update

Ziggy finally ahd his MRI for his shoulder done. Now we just have to figure out what is going to happen with his shoulder next.

Also, Ziggy found out when he is leaving for his deployment. 18 January, which means he will be home for our 2nd wedding anniversary. Goody!!!

Some fundamentals about Christmas shopping

1. START EARLY!!!!!!!!!

2. Wear walking shoes. Or running shoes.

3. If you have children, BRING YOUR OWN STROLLER!!!! It's way too expensive to rent one!!!

4. If you didn't get to the shopping places early in the morning, don't complain about not being able to get a parking place. And PLEASE son't follow the woman with the little kids to her car and wait for her to leave so you can have her parking place. She has kids. It will take her a while to load kids and packages into the vehicle. Drive around, chances are you'll find another spot by the time she's done and has left.

5. Have patience.

6. Be polite.

7. Last, and certainly not least........SHOP ONLINE!!!!!!

Can you tell I did some Christmas shopping today?!?!!?

Oh God, we're back to the soulmate topic.......

Oh yes, the topic has been brought up, AGAIN. Not by Other, though. That is, quite honestly, the only new bit to the whole thing. So I'm going to blog about it. Why? Because, I can. And because this has just got me so bugged that I can't stand it.

Last night I'm on Yahoo messenger talking to Scout's godfather. Now, I have known JayJay since I was 14 years old. Which means I have known him for 14 years. JayJay and I have seen each other through some of the worst times of our lives, and also some of the best. And somehow we just keep in touch, muddle through whatever disaster is happening in our lives at that point, laugh about it, and move on. We're pretty good at this. JayJay has always been a musician and songwriter at heart. I love his music. Always have. JayJay and I know each other so well that his mom considers me her daughter. If you have a twin of the opposite sex, JayJay is mine. I mean, we even look the part.....I have brown hair and eyes, along with the pale skin, so does JayJay. Kinda freaky, actually.

Well, for a little background, JayJay and I have always been the best of friends. Years can go by without us hearing from the other, and when we get together, we pick up right where we left off, without missing a beat. I met JayJay in high school, my freshman year. He sat next to me in ROTC. Yes, I was one of 'those' kids. I was also a band geek, but I digress. We talked and hung out. He saw me go through my first love. I saw him go through hell with girlfriends. Our senior year, JayJay and I go on a field trip with ROTC to New York city. Good trip, I had fun. Well, one night while we are all at a bowling alley, JayJay and I get into the biggest fight we have EVER had. In the parking lot. Screaming at the tops of our lungs at each other, for a good long while. I don't remember how it started, but I remember the gist of what he was saying to me. That he loved me. Not as a friend or a big brother(JayJay is 2 years older than me), but as in he loved me how he'd loved a friend of mine that he'd dated. I flipped out, went totally ballistic. I couldn't handle it. This was my best friend on creation, and here he was telling me that he wanted to love me as a man, not as a friend. Yea, I went into maxi-wig quick.
Fast forward three, maybe 4 years. JayJay calls me up(after I have moved and lost contact) one night, late November, and commences to telling me that he believes I am his soulmate, we are meant to be together, we need to be together, and that he just can't take being friends any more. He then tells me what has prompted this call. He was in bed, screwing his wife( I knew her in high school, and hated the conniving, lying, cheating little whore, but JayJay was my friend, so I was nice to her) and when he orgasmed, he screamed MY name, not hers. Now, I have heard that there are 3 times that people tell the absolute truth - 1. when drunk 2. when orgasming and 3. when talking in their sleep. God help if any of these is true. Anyways, digressing again. Anyways, that was the catalyst for why he decided to wake me up late at night and give me the soulmate schpeel.

Alright, ok, I admit it.......I believe in soulmates. There are people in this world that are 'wired in' to others. Now. Here's where my belief system with it gets sticky. If you happen to meet up with your soulmate, what says that you must be in a relationship with them immediately? See, I think timing is the true bitch of the whole soulmates gig. And that's where I firmly believe that Fate is a sick twisted bitch. Just for the whole timing bit. Sick, twisted, sadistic little cunt is what Fate is. Someone needs to kick her fucking ass. But, all of that is not to say that you can't be happy with someone who isn't your soulmate. Hell, it happens all the time. Nothing wrong with it, either. Besides, who knows what's coming down the line.....

Busy nothings

The title is probably my favorite line out of the book and movie 'Mansfield Park'. The book is by Jane Austen. Yes, I like to read Jane Austen.

So it's 6AM on my day off, and I am wide freaking awake. Why? No clue. It was like this yesterday, too. Not the same time, but alert and active at an hour when I would have otherwise been asleep. Is my sixth sense pinging? Yes, and when that happens, I usually have a hard time sleeping, cause my mind tends to start racing hella fast, and I get no sleep.

So, busy nothings.....

Gramps still hasn't made it home from the hospital. Apparently he needed his gallbladder removed last night. My SIL called and told me while I was out doing some shopping. Here's where my sixth sense has been pinging.

Christmas shopping---well, progress has been made, I guess. I got all of Ziggy's presents bought, and a small something for Scout. I have to buy stocking stuffers, though. I don't have any of those.

Oh, I am channeling my inner Martha Stewart this year, as my table is decorated in red, green and gold table cloth and napkins, and the napkin rings are bells, and I have green placemats. My self improvement thing this year has been to become a bit more girly, and I believe I am making progress. Blonde says I haven't accomplished it until I buy pink shoes. Not so sure I'm ready for that yet.


JayJay, Scout's godfather, has finally wizened up and gone back to playing music, his first love in the first place. He has his first gig next month, on my and Ziggy's anniversary. I wish I could be there to hear it, I always loved his music.

My house is such a mess, but Ziggy wants to go riding 4 wheelers today, and I am hard pressed not to go. He's leaving, I really want to ride, as I haven't ridden in a long time, etc. But I need to clean my house!!!!

I'm coming into a few grand's worth of money soon, and am having difficulty in deciding what to do with it. Start retirement fund, pay bills, home improvements, I can't decide........

Ok, I think that about covers my busy nothings for now.....Merry Christmas everyone.

Ahhh......sick Christmas

Not that Christmas is sick(ok, the whole commercial side of it, yes), but all of us, except Scout, have gotten sick this week. It's been pure awful.

First off, I got the stomach flu and Ziggy took me to the ER. SO I was out of work that day. Well, I get up the next day, get kids ready for the day, pile in the truck, and MiniZiggy starts puking his cute little blonde head off. And I mean industrial type, projectile vomit. I don't know where he was getting what he puked up, cause he sure didn't want to eat anything before we left! Poor little guy, he wanted to be held all day ---very unlike a healthy MiniZiggy. So I was out of work for puking baby, much to the chagrin of Der Furher. "You can be out today, but tomorrow your husband has to watch him" ---ahhh, Auschwitz.

Then, just when I think I'm feeling better, I get sick again. But this time I don't have to go to the ER. Well, Ziggy got sick, too. Fever, chills, tummy ache, loads of fun, huh?

Did I mention I have almost NONE of my Christmas shopping done?

Why I hate birth control

Why I hate birth control. I am on the birth control patch. Which functions in much the same way as the pill, with the exception that it's a patch, and that it's not a daily application, it's a weekly one. Why do I hate it? Birth control of this type has the tendency to make me sick the longer I am on it. You know, all those pesky side effects of nausea, diarrhea, all that. So the first couple months of being on it, I'm ok, but after a few months, my stomach stays torn up, I feel like shit, the whole bit. I guess it's a good thing Ziggy is deploying next month, as I don't think I'll be on the patch while he's gone, it's just going to keep me nice and sick if I do.


I had so much more that I wanted to write today, and then I forgot it all, so I guess I will close for now. Take care guys!!!

Just as an afterthought

You all know of my title for my workplace, Auschwitz. Well, apparently my blog has become a bit of an underground hit, and the name has caught on. To the point that one of the guys referred to our two bosses as Hitler and Hitler Jr. Another guy(who doesn't work in my shop) called one of my bosses Der Fuhrer. Yea.....see, it's not just me...

Random things I'm saying.....

What a week. I mean, really. Can things get more bizarre? Apparently there is no end to the amount of bizzare things that can happen to me. Anyways.....

Cadillac.....first off, let me say that Cadillac is not an ugly specimen of the male gender. But the more I hear about the man in regards to his personal life, the more I wonder what the hell the looks I get from him at work mean. Apparently, atleast according to several different sources, Cadillac is rather the ladies' man. As in any lady but his own wife. Who, judging by a picture he showed me, is also a lovely lady. From what I hear, now, bear in mind all of this is hearsay, I know nothing for truth myself, Cadillac makes the rounds of bars and bikini clubs on a daily basis, and has this habit of riding his bike( it's a motorcycle) while intoxicated. Also, it is reported(again, I know no facts in regards to this) that while he may appear fatigued at work, it is more likely a hang over, than true fatigue. So what do the looks mean? This remains a mystery. I don't know, and honestly, am not so sure that I really want to know. I have avoided the man like the plague, given that he cussed me out not too long ago, and I am attempting to avoid confrontation. Also, I get reports that Cadillac bad-mouths me on a regular basis, behind my back of course. I have long since held the belief that Cadillac is spineless. I have seen circumstances in the shop that have led me to this conclusion, this is not heresay. But, he's mostly on good behavior in a one-on-one session with me. This type of shit pisses me off. Cadillac is a go-between. He's not anything of significanse in relation to me, honestly. Not the way Kermit runs the shop. But he's got ego to spare, and personally, I think Kermit lets him run with it unchecked for the most part. They are buddies, after all, and there's no good to come out of complaining to Kermit. SHit rolls down hill, and it would come very quickly on me.

Kermit....speaking of the devil.....I can do no right for the man. He has been down right menstral this week. And crabby as all hell. One guy got bitched out for thinking. Yea....Kermit, I have come to the conclusion, is just a dick. And there's no pleasing him, not for me, atleast. Kermit believes a woman's place is at home with the kids, not working. Not saying that I am disagreeing with him, cause I'd love to be a stay home Mommy, but hey, the mortgage doesn't pay itself, right? It's just that he carries this mentality into work with him. Blatantly. I could be the best mechanic in the shop, and I still wouldn't be able to do anything right for Kermit. Simply because I am female. Ah yes, I work in Auschwitz.

I have now had the most bizarre thing to ever happen to me at work, happen. I go on a test drive with one of the SSgt's. We're chatting about family and such, as he's a friend of Ziggy's. Somehow we get on the topic of sex and all that. Suddenly I am a confessional. I get him admitting to infedility to me. Not that unusual, right? Now, I know this guy from work, and that's pretty much it. We don't hang out, he doesn't hang out with Ziggy outside of work, so to get confessions from him was a bit surprising. Oh, but it gets better......now, I'm not a prude by any means, any regular reader to this blog will tell you that. But I was caught a bit off guard when this guy whips out a hard dick and wants me to watch him jerk off. In the truck that he's driving. Like right then. Now let me give you a bit of an idea how much clothing dude had on at that juncture. Shop coveralls(like any mechanic you'd see in a dealership), BDU pants under that, then whatever he wore for undergarments(required by regulation in the Air Force). So it wasn't as simple as pulling down elasticized pants. Get my drift? Definitely not the run of the mill event in ANY place I've worked. I tried playing it off( I have a terrible poker face, so I can imagine I failed miserably), but I was floored. Then he starts rambling about how Ziggy's a friend of his, he probably offended me, etc, etc. And generously offers that if I am turned on by all of this, that I can masturbate as well. While he's jerking off in the same vehicle. My weird-shit-o-meter was officially pegged by that point. Finally we get back to the shop. And I go on with the rest of my day with a split mind about the whole thing. Do I tell Ziggy or do I tell the sexual harrassment people? Well, unable to keep a secret from the very significant man in my life, I spill it out to Ziggy. Who promptly goes ballistic, but in total Ziggy-style. Which means if you don't know Ziggy well, you wouldn't know he was wigging out. So Ziggy gives me a couple options. Either he handles it(which would be public and very messy for all parties involved, as NOTHING stays a secret in the military), or I handle it and tell him to leave it alone. I took the second option. My husband, though I love him dearly, can be a serious hot-head when he takes a mind to. And I'd rather err on the side of caution and contain the situation rather than have it go crazy with a quickness. So......long story short, Ziggy has been called off for now, but in the event something happens again, Ziggy gets full reign then, and it won't be pretty. Ziggy is a pretty easy going guy until someone offends his wife. Then he's full on asshole and vindictive to boot, along with a very bad temper. Not pretty, I've only seen it twice in the 3 years that we've been together.

Gramps......I so feel for everyone in the family that's over in Washington state now. Gramps, poor man, took a fall out of bed the other night, after getting disoriented and being too proud to ask for help out of his bed. Well, to make things even worse, he stopped breathing, got very sick, and had to be put back into ICU today. So the whole family is freaking out. Here is where I start feeling bad, as I am the calm one in the family. I have always held my cool when everyone else freaks out, it's just my nature. Which can sometimes make it look like I am unfeeling or unaffected by the events that are happening. So Ziggy and his brother and the whole family are all going ballistic. I hate to say this, but I knew he was going to be bad of at some point. He was doing WAY too well for a man in his health, directly after major surgery. My sixth sense was pinging off the walls, but I don't say much about it, as well, imagine the pandemonium that would have started.

Other....my dear friend Other. I sent Other and Beefcake a package of Christmas decorations, complete with stockings and candy canes. All Other has told me is that I will get pictures of what he decorates with the lights, and that he is confident that I will be pleased with it. I almost shudder to think what he has come up with. I sent him a box with 600 lights in it, so who knows what he has come up with. Other has his own personal drama going on, and while I hate it for him, he is getting sucked into a situation that wasn't anything he is responsible for. I know it's only going to get worse when he gets back to Alaska, too.

Alright, that's about all for right now.....I'm sure that there will be more...there always is!!!

I got tagged!!!!!

Ok, here we go....

What were you doing 10 years ago? At this point in 1995, I was 8 months pregnant, visiting my long distance boyfriend who was home from the Marines, and working.
What were you doing 1 year ago? Um...settling into our house, working, the usual.
5 snacks you enjoy :1. Dr. Pepper and a Hershey's bar.
2. French fries and Mayo
3. Cold Stone Ice Cream
4. Apple Chips
5. rice crispy treats
5 songs to which you know all the lyrics :1. Numb by Linkin Park.
2. Strangers in The Night by Frank Sinatra
3. Nothing Else Matters by Metallica
4. Courtesy of the Red, WHite and Blue by Toby Keith
5. Here Without You by Three Door Down
5 things you would do if you were a millionaire :1. Buy land in Alaska and build my dream home.2. Pay off debts. 3. Travel the world.4. Get out of the military!!!5. Give money to St. Jude's Children's Hospital.
5 bad habits :1. Putting off doing laundry!!!
2. Cussing - I cuss like a sailor.
3. Being very critical of others.
4. Not picking up after myself.
5. Eating desserts!

5 things you like doing :1. Reading
2. Riding my four wheeler
3. Sleeping late!
4. Shopping on Ebay.
5. Touring historical places.

5 things you would never wear again :1. My prom dress.
2. Certain outifts of my maternity clothes - what was I thinking?!
3. My desert uniforms!!!
4. Any of my clothes purchased by my ex husband.
5. The strappy black sandals with bows. Major fashion faux pas.

favorite toys :1. Internet!!!
2. Digital camera
3. X-box, though I don't play much.
4. MP3 player
5. 4 wheeler


Thanks CrazyGirl, I love these type of things!!!!

Deck my house

I have the Christmas tree up, lit and decorated nicely in the big bay window of my house. The lights have been set aside for the outside of the house, to be put up this weekend. I have 1,000 lights on my Christmas tree alone. I have to get my wreath put up, locate the tree skirt and hang the stockings in order to round out the decorations.

My parents aren't coming up for Christmas, they have elected to come in January, closer to Scout's birthday. But, Gamaw may come up, and that will be nice to see her.....

So the fun begins for me of deciding what the hell to buy Ziggy for Christmas. When I ask, all I get is 'Baby, home with you and the kids is enough for me.' While this is endearing, alas, it doesn't tell me a thing, and that gets rather frustrating for me. He may get a singing fish, just for the hell of it......lol.