As I sit here, laptop precariously balanced on my knee and the edge of the couch, I am awash is sadness. Ok, maybe not total sadness. Mostly disappointment. Disappointment with an edge of sadness. I don't recall the last time I felt so disappointed in a friend. my body feels heavy with the weight of the disappointment I feel, and I can't seem to shake the grey fog that surrounds me.
I am to the point that I dread getting messages from that friend, because I feel I have nothing to say. It seems I have lost my voice. Or the ability to voice my observations in a clear manner to others.
The friendship hasn't changed, I don't think. Perhaps I have expected more or too much of that friend. Put on a pedestal, disappointment is inevitable when reality sets in. Hitting in a bit close for me right now.
So next week is Christmas. It hardly seems important, what with school, work, selling the house, and all the normal chaos that happens around here. Taken a bit of a back seat to other things, actually, though we have bought presents and such. My mind still thinks I have time to do things inrelation to Christmas.
New Years Eve I take MiniZiggy and MiniMachine to Washington State by myself. This ought to be interesting. 2 toddlers on a plane ride cross country. What madness have I entered into????
So there are those that believe Ziggy and I have the perfect marriage, and that I have the perfect husband. No marriage is perfect, and neither is any spouse. I am very fortunate in my spouse, however. There are a few women I work with who would love to clone Ziggy for themselves. I am flattered, and have warned them in advance that they would be baseball widows, as Ziggy is such a baseball fan he doesn't notice much else between April and October. They didn't seem bothered a bit by that. I think it's very complimentary to Ziggy that other women wish they had a husband like him. Once they hear him snore, they'll think again, LOL.
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