I feel like a fool

I am one of those people who just never learns, apparently. You know that scene in the movie Mr. & Mrs. Smith where Angelina Jolie is driving her car, and she's saying to herself, 'How could I be so stupid?" That's me today, with not as good hair, and not as expensive a car. My day went to hell in a handbag this morning, and by complete fault of my own. I'm a big girl, and can admit that this was TOTALLY my fault. I got caught off guard, a bit blind-sided. Information came my way that I reacted to in the incorrect manner for my position. I didn't take it well, and it should have rolled off my back like water off a duck. I have determined that I must be a very selfish and narrow-minded person for something like that to affect me the way it did. I mean my stomach was actually twisted up and I felt sick. Yes, not a good day for me. And it hit me immediately afterwards that I had been such a fool to have believed the way I did before I learned this information. I'm not going into detail, of course, but bottom line is that I took some things for granted, and when I learned the reality, I reacted poorly. To the point I had a cigarette and took a cop car for a nice fast(90 mph) test drive, and then I only felt a smidgen better.

I knew I should have stayed in bed, my sixth sense was pinging like crazy. I really should listen to that more often, huh? My New Year's resolutions may well include to work on that narrow-mindedness that I find myself heavy on. I may avoid future stomach aches and distress.

My little disclaimer to this is that I have boiled down, as much as possible, the events that started the downhill spiral of my day, to the basics, the heart of all of it, and in searching myself, the above written paragraphs are my own insight into it all. I'm a fool.....