Ziggy and Gramps, or why we end up with the person in our lives

After 58 years of marriage, Gramps succombed to leukemia and renal cancer, peacefully, in his sleep. I cannot fathom what it is to wake up knowing you will never see your spouse again. How Gram gets thorough each day, I can't imagine. Family coming by to see her, friends checking up on her, all of it is nice, I am sure, but I can't imagine going through every day thereafter and not going nuts without Gramps there.

Ziggy is my concrete reality in this crazy world, he is my rock. When we are apart, we call atleast twice a day. Sappy, I know, we are just that way. I can't go a night without hearing his voice before I go to sleep, he calls wanting to know how the morning went, was MiniZiggy fussy when he got up, did Scout get a move on like he doesn't like to do, etc. I know what it is to willingly do away with the married state, to electively be single again, as I have been divorced. But to lose the partner of your life, that you are happy with, I can't fathom that at all. I can't imagine the loss Gram feels, nor the disappointment of turning around in your own home, and not finding that person there, when they have been there for so long. I can't imagine my life without Ziggy, so I have no idea how Gram handles it everyday. I would crumple up and want to die right along with Ziggy, for the world pales without him in it.

Why do we end up with the person we share our life with? When I was 15, I met the man I figured I would end up with eventually. He was 18 at the time, and had just enlisted in the Marine Corps. As always, life is what happens when you are making other plans, and 4 and a half years later, we split up, and married other people. I still hear from him from time to time, we chat about our kids(he has a daughter by his ex-wife) and how work is, etc. I met Ziggy when I was 24, still married to Psycho, and fresh in the military. Little did I know that the man that was sitting 2 seats from me would be my husband in 2 and a half years' time. Gram and Gramps were childhood sweethearts, and the story goes that Gram told Gramps, at the ripe age of 12, "Douglas Sloan, I am going to marry you when we grow up." I can't say I had an inkling of that type of thought when Ziggy and I were dating. I wasn't so sure we were going to date for very long actually, for 2 reasons. 1, the man hated my dog with a passion. She was a lovely Siberian Husky, and would rub against his legs trying to get him to pet her. And left white hair on him everytime. 2. He was a bit rough around the edges, and I wasn't sure we'd last long before he'd tire of me. So why the man I met in the military rather than the one I met at 15 years old? Was Ziggy the man for me as an adult, rather than as a teenager? Possibly, I guess. Guess I'll never know......but I wouldn't trade him for the world.