More of the same

I spent most of the day trying not to cry in front of Ziggy and the kids. As I got closer to bedtime, and more 'alone' with Ziggy, it got harder. The kids are a distractor, since one of them always wants or needs something. Once they go to bed, then it's just me, Ziggy and MiniMachine.

Tomorrow is my last day of maternity leave, and then it's back to the grind. I'm not looking forward to it, as life will be getting decidedly busier, with school.

I am calling for info about a second job tomorrow. Ziggy wants to know why I want a second job, and it seems that he's forgetten that we talked about this, and about it being a good thing, etc. It's funny how the man who's always thinking about money never thought that it (money) might be the very reason I'd be getting a second job. He asked why it had to be me, and I said it was because I was the one that wouldn't be in the military anymore. He hasn't mentioned it ever being him to get another job. He was asking when I would start nursing school, and come to find out, it coincides with the next time he's supposed to deploy. Aren't I excited? Can't you feel my enthusiasm?? I asked my MIL if she ever reached a point where she resented my FIL's job( he's retired from the Army), and she said yes. I think I've gotten there, myself, though I know what the life is like. I can't help feeling the resentment and just having to put up with the Air Force, and the kids and I coming after it. Maybe I am being selfish.....