I'm not a big fan of class reunions. And for the most part, my reasoning in why, is pretty simple. If I had wanted to continue knowing certain people from that time in my life, I would still keep up with them. Hence why I don't do class reunions. So, I keep up with 2-3 folks I either went to high school with, or knew while I was in high school. And that contact is fairly sporadic. I'm just not into hanging onto all that, for some reason. Here is where Ziggy and I differ in a MAJOR way. Ziggy keeps up with plenty of folks that he knew and went to high school with. One of them is relatively famous, since he plays football in the NFL, and used to play defender to the one and only Peyton Manning. Hell, I think I know more of Ziggy's friends than he knows mine. I don't keep friends for long periods of time. And the few(I can count them on 1 hand) that I do still have, have my undying love and loyalty. I will drop everything and help them out, cause they have done the same for me in times past.
So why all that info?? Well, I was thinking about a friend of mine from high school, and hadn't heard from him in a while, so I popped him an email. Then I got curious about a few others I had known in high school, so I hit up MySpace and looked up those that had graduated the same year from my high school. That brought back lots of memories, but the one thing that stood out the most was that most of the 'popular' folks I knew in high school, are still in the area that we went to high school in. Now granted, I'm not originally from a small town like Ziggy is. I grew up in a suburb of Atlanta. I am not, in any way, sentimentally tied to that area. I hate Atlanta. I abhor all big cities. I don't go back unless I absolutely have to. In the 5 years I have been in the military, I have gone home all of twice. Ziggy has gone to see my folks more than I have. But I think it all boils down to me in a way.......I'm one of those people that lives very much in my own skin. I'm not into nick-nacks, I don't decorate my house all that much(Ziggy's WAY more into that than I am), I have memories and they serve me well enough that I don't think too much about displaying things. I'm not attached to my childhood home, nor to my family. I call home once a week to keep my mom off my back(doesn't always work, believe me). If anything, I am more attached to my in-laws than I am my own family that raised me. So I don't go to class reunions, nor do I still talk to everyone I knew in high school.......
As for the update.....I think I have a case of the blahs. I'm restless, and a bit down. I think I'm down cause of all the insanity that is swirling around my pregnancy and with school. It's all rather frustrating and can be depressing at times. I have started having terrible dreams, too. Last night I dreamed that Scout let MiniZiggy jump into a pool(the baby can't swim, neither can Scout) and just stood there watching his little brother start to drown. I come running outside and dive into the pool after MiniZiggy and haul him out, then procede to nearly kill Scout for not doing anything about his brother. I was shaken awake by Ziggy telling me to wake up, that everything was fine, it was a bad dream........
Watching Scout here of late, I see the patterns of things that have happened in the past with his father. With his younger siblings, he was useless. No common sense whatsoever. And I am seeing it come about in Scout as well, no matter how I try to combat it. And it's not just in relation to MiniZiggy. His whole way of conducting himself, and caring for himself is so unhealthy, I odn't know what to do to change it. He halfasses everything he does. And no matter what I try, nothing changes it. I am terrified that he will move out and end up a bum like his father, incapable of taking care of himself in the most basic of ways. It completely terrifies me.
Alright, I think that's enough for now.
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