Baby fever and I am a bit depressed, 2 weeks down

Ok, let's do the bit depressed bit first. Get it out of the way. As I have mentioned before, AFN TV runs alot of shows that just depress me to no end. To the point that I can't even think about my kids without fearing that something terrible is going to happen to them while I am over here. As if that's not enough, Ziggy calls my mom and she asks him if we all go to church - now let me give you a little background. My parents are Southern Baptists. They are at church every time the doors open. Now, right before Ziggy and I got married, my mother gets this crazy(from Ziggy, yes, it's crazy) promise from Ziggy that he will get me and Scout to church every Sunday. Yeah. Anyone who knows Ziggy knows that Ziggy doesn't go to church. Ziggy doesn't believe in God, he believes in reincarnation. Or atleast that's the way he explained it to me. ANYWHO....Ziggy calls my mom the other day, and is telling Ziggy about Scout going to Bible school and how impressed the teachers were with how well Scout knows his bible verses. She asks Ziggy if we've all been going to church........and the conversation went downhill from there. My mother starts giving Ziggy one of her famous guilt trips about his promise to her (he never should have made it, I could have told him that she's never going to let him live it down). Well, then I get to hear about it when I talk to Ziggy this morning. Religion has never been an easy topic in my house, because Ziggy and I differ so much in our beliefs. So Ziggy wanted to know why I hadn't been taking Scout to church, and so I had to explain........see, the way I was raised, women keep the peace in their houses with their husbands, and I explained to him that in order to keep peace in my house, I don't mention church, and we don't go because I was raised that church is a family thing, and it's not the whole family without him. Now, to try and dart himself out of this whole little schpeel, Ziggy says that he has always considered both of us to be the heads of the house. I told him that he wasn't going to be able to talk himself out of that one. He trys, I'll give him that much. So the whole conversation just depressed me.

Baby fever.......I have a friend who just had her second child, a pretty little girl. 3 months after her older child turned 1. Now, I can't say that I'd want my kids to be that close in age, but it makes me want another child in a bad way. Trying to keep focus on finishing my degree is really hard when there are little babies to play with and cuddle and love on. And I just love babies. I mentioned adopting a baby to Ziggy and I got this weird reaction from him, and that upset me, too. Talking to Ziggy hasn't been the happiest experience here of late, I end up getting sad and crying.

Well, 2 weeks down, 14 more to go, and I think I'm going to go absolutely nuts in this place. Work bores me to death, and you can only check the email and surf Ebay so much.

Talk to you guys later.....